The pose is perfect. With arms outstretched, the orange menace, unlike Hamlet, mangles his to be or not to be speech with consummate skill. He, like the vapid and sad July 4th celebrations, highlighted with the most untalented artists this rube had ever seen while taking all too long to finish their acts, lurched out of existence as intense thunderstorms went through in DC, forcing folks to temporarily evacuate to avoid getting electrocuted.
The astronomer Carl Sagan once described Earth as a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. “Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot,” he wrote.
Donald Trump took the stage on Saturday night imagining himself the master of the universe, not the temporary custodian of a country born around the same time as the hot-air balloon. The last decade was proof that “divine providence” had made Trump president for America’s 250th anniversary of independence, his aide Stephen Miller posted on social media.
Not even apocalyptic lightning bolts, which caused a four-hour delay, could stop Trump from putting his personal stamp on history. So, would we get a Gettysburg address for the 21st century? A deathless line like “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”? Or a noble call to service reminiscent of “ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country”?
Alas, we did not. In blowing out the candles on the nation’s birthday cake, Trump committed the one sin that even his base cannot forgive, especially after 12 hours of waiting in sun, wind and rain. He was actually quite boring. Which proves that, like New Year’s Eve, big birthdays often tend to be anticlimactic.
This sad spectacle on the National Mall featured Teleprompter Trump, the one who has been warned by his chief of staff, Susie Wiles, to stay on script and at least pretend to sound presidential. But every now and then, like a glitch in the matrix, he reverted to his petty grievances and obsessions.
“They estimated 375,000 people before everybody had to leave,” he began, referring to a chaotic evacuation caused by the weather. “They now have 150,000 people.” It was a wildly exaggerated claim from the man who said his inauguration was bigger than Barack Obama’s.
Trump and his wife, Melania, belatedly appeared on a temporary stage between the Washington Monument and Lincoln Memorial that conveniently blocked views of his lurid green reflecting pool, which he has attempted to renovate, with farcical results. The set was framed by blue lights and had a red-and-white arch, all against the backdrop of an animated, billowing presidential seal with the words “E Pluribus Unum” – out of many, one.
The president spoke with the hubris of one of those emperors that Sagan was so sceptical about. “For 250 years, the United States of America has been the hope, the promise, the light and the glory among all the nations of the world,” he said. “All over the world they try to be like us. Nobody can be like us, and with God’s help, we will always be the best, or even better. We are going to be better.”
Yes we will, once agent orange and his crew finally disappear into the dust bin of history ...
as quickly as possible.
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