Praise be Saint George.
Profane, hilarious and all too intelligent, Carlin mattered ...
Laugh and cry at the same time, he's Diogenes using a mike, not a lantern, to discover the truth.
This particular riff indirectly channels Nathan Jessup's You Can't Handle the Truth! in A Few Good Men in more ways than one.
To whit:
Save the trees! Save the bees! Save the whales! Save those snails!
And the greatest arrogance of all: “Save the planet!” What?! Are these fucking people kidding me?! Save the planet?
We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet! We haven’t learned how to care for one another and we’re gonna save the fucking planet?!
I’m getting tired of that shit!
It gets better.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet, nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine; the people are fucked! Difference! The planet is fine! Compared to the people, The planet is doing great: been here four and a half billion years!
Do you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We’ve been here what? 100,000? Maybe 200,000? And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over 200 years. 200 years versus four and a half billion.
And we have the conceit to think that somehow, we’re a threat?
There it is.
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
The planet isn’t going anywhere; we are! We’re going away! Pack your shit, folks! We’re going away and we won’t leave much of a trace either, thank God for that. Maybe a little Styrofoam, maybe.
The planet will be here, we’ll be long gone; just another failed mutation; just another closed-end biological mistake; an evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet will shake us off like a bad case of fleas, a surface nuisance.
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